Jen Confession #188: Having 2 kids is HARD WORK.
This is no secret. Everyone warns you. You warn yourself. You accept it as truth, and yet… you think to yourself, “Oh, it can’t be that bad. So many people do it. I’ll get the hang of it in no time.”
Ha! I laugh in my own face in the mirror each morning. Ha! Stupid girl. You had no clue.
When you take a step back out of your own reality and look at your life in its tiny little bubble, you see two things. First you see how it falls short of everything you want it to be. For me, it is “incomplete tasks.” I’m one of those people who love to run a deep and permanent black line through items on my To Do List. I feel like I fall short of what is expected of me when heaps of laundry haven’t been done, or the toys aren’t put away, or there are a gazillion dishes to do, or emails or phone calls to make, or any myriad of normal “To Do’s” left undone. And with a fantastic and energetic little girl like Abigail, and a little baby like Milo who just wants to be held, those tasks are almost impossible to keep up with. But the second thing you see when taking a closer look at that bubble is the bigger picture. I see a little girl who loves to play and use her imagination – the reason for so many toys on my floor. I see a growing and thriving little boy, who does everything an infant is supposed to do: eat, sleep, and poop – the reason the laundry pile is never-ending. I see a man who is just as happily exhausted as I am because he runs this race with me, at my side, every day – the reason the dishes aren’t done. I have to take a moment and realize that all those little things that make me feel like I fall short are, in fact, what make me a “Super Mom.” My daughter is happy. My son is thriving. My husband and I are closer than ever. These are the things that matter.
I was going to apologize to all of my friends and family for not sending out a Christmas card this year. I felt so guilty that I just couldn’t get them done. It’s a first for me in more than 6 years. But then I realized I don’t owe anyone an apology. I owe myself a little slack. It didn’t happen this year. So what? Instead of spending my time stuffing envelopes and applying stamps, I was snuggling with Milo and singing the ABC’s with Abigail. And it is because I came to this realization that those same friends and family will not be receiving a “New Years” card, either (my back-up plan). Instead, I stole away for 20 minutes while my children sleep and my husband plays a much deserved video game to write this blog post.
I want to wish you all a very Merry and belated Christmas, and the most Joyous of Happy New Years. From the Francis family, to yours, we truly hope your holidays were as wonderful as our own. May 2014 bring you all the love and happiness you deserve. It is going to be a good year. Please enjoy this beautiful E-Card (done by none other than the lovely Brienne Shepard) this year. I hope it finds you all well.