Lent, My Epic Fail

Well hello, strangers! Long time, no see!

It feels good to be back online. Anthony and I moved, and then were without internet for a full month! (But that story will have to wait for another blog.)

I tried my best. I really did. But without an audience to keep me motivated, my Lenton Promise to blog daily failed. More like crashed and burned. To the point that whole weeks went by when my poor neglected computer didn’t even get turned on!

As Easter approached and I realized that I’d passed the point of no return to “fix” the situation (as in try to write one blog for every day I’d missed in a matter of 48 hours), I felt ashamed. Christ suffered on the cross. God sacrificed his only son. And I couldn’t keep up with a simple promise I’d made to both of them. Good little Christian girl, my foot! I felt like I’d let the Lord down. I felt like I’d gone back on my word. And a large part of me wanted to place blame on my circumstances as an excuse as to why I couldn’t keep my promise.

Well, God works in mysterious ways. Because I realized that I had given something up for Lent – something VERY hard to live without. It just wasn’t a choice I’d made. I truly gave up the internet and television for Lent. I did it without even knowing it! And once I’d realized it, it was SUPER hard to deal with. I had no idea how reliant I was on these luxuries in my daily life. I took for granted how easily I kept in touch with family and friends. I forgot how alone one can feel without information. I had to push myself to not become bored because I did not realize how many hours I actually spent watching my favorite shows.

LIke I said – I didn’t set out to give up Cable and Internet. Heck no! Not a sacrifice I’d choose at all! And I had to laugh. Because I thought back to every time I’ve given up something for Lent and realized that I always gave up something insignificant. Sure, inconvenient – I hated not having soda or sweets. I felt it was a great sacrifice to give up or take on little things like no swearing, or the year I read the bible, or even carving out the time in my busy schedule to blog daily. But none of those things were ever truly sacrifices. This – this was a sacrifice. And within it, a lesson God was determined to teach me. Goodness knows I tried to end the suffering quickly! I called and talked to everyone who’s anyone in the world of Time Warner and Fios. But no amount of arguing or pleading or attitude was going to bring me this technological connection I craved any faster.

But I survived. As a matter of fact, by the time I got it all back, I wasn’t all that needy anymore. Sure, I did my best to catch up on my shows – but I wasn’t craving it anymore. Sure I spent one long night attached to my computer – but really, most of it was Pampered Chef work, not leisure. And in the almost week now that we’ve had the internet back, there are days that I haven’t been on Facebook. This is the first blog. The TV doesn’t automatically get turned on just because I can. Abigail and I spend a lot more time talking to each other (and the dog) than we used to. Most importantly, I learned that  I didn’t need either of these things to survive. I can occupy my time with other things. I can get my news and information from other sources. And now that I know that, I feel like my life is a little more in balance. I’m getting more done with my time.

So while it wasn’t what I set out to do – I did make a sacrifice for Lent. Sorry to my avid readers that have missed me over the last few weeks! I promise that I won’t stop blogging just because I’m not hooked up to an internet IV anymore! And I think I am going to make more significant sacrifices for Lent from here on out.

-Jen

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